You know Obamacare?  You know, that health care bill that passed because according to the Democrats, not passing it would make it harder for them to get elected?  Well, they don’t want to talk about it.  It’s problematic, you see.

Well, if they want to change the subject, they’re out of luck.  It’s not like they have much to talk about.  However, them trying to find something to say would be a fun internal strategy memo to read…

Dear Sirs,

After intensive polling, we’ve come up with a list of talking points to distribute to the candidates in competitive districts this year.  We are confident that if they stick to these Democratic strengths, many of our members will be returning to Congress come January 2011.

1.)  Talk about the gap in town hall meetings during the month of August.  Unlike the Republicans, we have been very economical about holding these wasteful exercises full of smelly Tea Party types.  We can happily tout how helpful to the environment we were due to savings on air conditioning and gas costs by the people who did not attend.

As we have held next to none of these, the Republicans will be on the defensive about how they’ve hurt little bunny rabbits with their gas-hogging, AC-intensive exercises.  Furthermore, we are far better at aggressively engaging the American voter in one-on-one settings than any Republican could ever dream of being.  Ask a college student.

2.)  Unlike the Republicans, Democrats running in their primaries against one another have taken fewer losses from Tea Party backed candidates than Republicans have.  We can proudly tout how magnificently monolithic we are, as opposed to Republicans dealing with all that messy citizen-participation politics.  No Tea Party member will ever get a say in our primaries, and it shows in the quality of our candidates.

3.)  Meghan McCain has a new book out.  While it may be tempting, we recommend not trying to link it to other Republicans due to incomprehensible content consisting mainly of “OMG!  You, like, are so…like, um…h8r!”  It might confuse our base.

(Yes, the Meghan Who rule goes back into effect after this post.)

4.)  If anyone asks about the economy, it’s all Obama’s fault.  We tried blaming Bush, but now he’s polling better than Obama is.  It might not hurt to say you were in Bush’s corner all along, and could only now speak your consciences because you’re…uh…courageous.  Yeah, that’s it.

5.)  We’d tell everyone not to mention their party affiliation, but they’re already doing that in Indiana.

Good luck, and we’ll see you if when you return in 2011.

Any talking points you’d like to add?  Feel free to comment.