Well, Obama’s gone and taken the gloves off. Now with the BP oil spill, he needs to know who’s ass to kick. And while that sentiment sounds so self-explanatory first, it cannot possibly be taken at face value given the duplicity and political cunning of our President. It calls for deep, thoughtful analysis.
Consider:
- The President bows to every international leader who doesn’t like us.
- He wants to talk to the Palestinians.
- Thinks we should engage Iran in nuclear talks.
- And has just backed a removal of the moratorium on whaling.
This can only mean one thing: Obama has decided to distract from the oil spill by turning everyone’s wrath against the DONKEY INDUSTRY! Yes, this sort of deep, insightful logic is what separates this site from all the rest. You can feel awe now.
Serioulsy, what else could he mean? Actually getting tough and solving problem? That wouldn’t be Obama. But creating diversions and casting blame would be. Why, he could kick donkeys all day, and they would never take out ads against him, even in an election year. It’s Machiavellian!
And to think that the humble and worthwhile burro is the symbol of his party. Is nothing too sacred not to be thrown under his bus? Such shameless exploitation of innocent animals to distract from his incompetence. What will be next? Class action donkey lawsuits? Union beatings? Seeing “spontaneous” videotaped moments of Obama sneaking up on one of these poor creatures, only to belt it between the legs?
Oh, the horror!
And how will this industry fare? Surely, donkey breeding employs Americans in these times of economic strife and uncertainty. Will another industry go the way of the dodo bird? And all so Obama can make scapegoats of non-goats?
This explanation makes as much sense as believing Obama has leadership. And it’s far more entertaining. So do your part, and stop the exploitation of helpless donkeys by our President today.