According to the UK’s government, cocaine users snorting a few lines of the stuff destroy four square meters of rainforest a shot.  This contributes to global warming, of course.  And since cocaine is a stimulant, they’re probably exhaling carbon dioxide more quickly too.

Goodness, can you imagine the horrid possibilities, especially with other drugs?  How much does marijuana destroy?  Not only are you taking up valuable gardening space that could be used by the rainforest, but all those byproducts exhaled by the users?  It’s a wonder the whole ozone layer hasn’t melted yet.

And hallucinogens!  How much excess carbon dioxide to people exhale when they’re running away from imaginary pink elephants chasing them with broadswords?!  I’m so glad the UK government made this connection, because now I’m in a complete state of panic have an excuse to zing them.