How am I, humble humorist and commentator that I am, supposed to work when the truth is this bizarre?  Seriously, my blog runs on the stuff of parody.  Furthermore, the weird news is coming so fast and furious lately I’m going to have to start a new recurring type of post because of it. And so, I introduce you to…Ludicrous News speedlinking and commentary!

1.)  Charlie Crist is now down against Rubio by 32 points.  As the polling is done by PPP, which tends to swing a little wide, I’ll suggest taking this number with a grain of salt.  As for Crist, what does he do about it?  Well, the obvious of course.  Attack that evil Rubio for back waxing!  That’s right, Demon Sheep!  Step aside, because you’re no match for the back waxing smear!

Perhaps he might have taken the time to prove a few of those accusations that Rubio isn’t a real conservative in order to blunt his advantage.  Perhaps he will enjoy the campaign from RedState to get their readers to send him back wax.  And perhaps he might launch his last ditch effort to be in any office at all with another odd campaigning tactic…

Hi, I’m Charlie Crist.  Vote for me, because I’m a pumpkin.

2.)  Massa talks about the naked Congressional Gym showdown between himself and Rahm Emanuel.  Real or not, it’s an image I could well do without.  Seriously, make it stop.  I see naked people…

3.)  You know the best way to learn what’s in the ObamaCare bill?  According to Nancy Pelosi, it would be to pass it, of course.  Not that posting it online, reading it, having independent think tanks score it, or stopping long enough for some analysis would possibly have anything to do with responsible legislating.  Nope, just pass it and let the shock cut through the “fog of the controversy.”  It’s not her career on the line, after all.

Still think my suggestion to ditch Pelosi was made in jest, House Democrats?

Please, all you weird and wacky politicos.  Have some pity on the parodist, and try to keep the Ludicrous News to a minimum.  I have a blog to run.