Yes, it’s time to step up, Copenhagen.

As reported by Michelle Malkin, 16,500 delegates or so are going to go there and generate an estimated 40,584 tons of carbon dioxide equivalents.   This is completely unacceptable from a climate conference.  So, it’s time to put your actions where your green is.  Save the world, Copenhagen:  Keep them there.

That’s right.  If these twits don’t travel, they can’t generate more tons of carbon dioxide equivalents.  Besides, it’s not like anyone is going to miss them.  Yes, occasionally, someone might look up and ask “Where did that noisy such-and-so and their endless tirades about global warming go?”  But miss them?  No.

In fact, our President is particularly useless when he’s not doing damage.  His Presidency so far can be summed up as:

• “Everything sucks”
• “It’s all Bush’s fault”
• “But the good news is…I’m awesome”
• “Uh, ah, er, uh…uh, er, um…”

Frankly, we’d be better off without him, and it’s not as though he was doing something productive anyway.  So not only could you be saving the world, but you could repay the favor we did by getting Hitler out of your hair in WWII.

How?  Here are some suggestions on how to keep the delegates around.

• Champagne: Free booze forever.  For this bunch, even we could probably chip in for the Champagne Fund.  With luck, all 16,500 could either be getting drunk, be drunk, passed out drunk, or too hung over to do anything but drink some more for years to come.
• Mirrors: This one is for Obama.  If you want to keep someone as narcissistic as he is in place for an extended length of time, put wall to wall mirrors in his room.  He’ll just look at himself and go “Look how awesome I am” day in and day out all the way through 2013.
• Telecommunications telecommunischmations: Reroute all the phone, radio, video, and other messages to someone that sounds official when they say “They’ll get back to you right away”.  The last thing we need is for some government functionary or worried family member to call in and suggest something might be amiss.  If it’s their spouses, tell them they took a field trip to Amsterdam for the night life, and that will insure that delegate won’t want to go home.
• More conferences: Apparently, pompous self-important people love conferences.  So never stop holding them.  Ever.
  

Think of all the good you could do, Copenhagen.  Save the world, and keep all those carbon-happy delegates there.  Carbon is evil!  EVIL, I TELL YOU!