I…AM CAPTAIN CHIPMUNK!
It’s time to talk about everyone’s favorite environmental scam bill: Cap and trade.
Here’s the short version. As reported at Michelle Malkin, McCain’s decided he’s going to negotiate now that the Democrats are pretending that nuclear power and offshore drilling are on the table. They’re lying, of course. Even if…
- They put something real in the bill about one or both of them
- And it lasts long enough to be signed.
…the environmentalists will continue to use litigation to make constructing nuclear power plants and drilling rigs financially prohibitive, if not an outright impossibility. Either that, or they’ll forum shop a liberal judge and have the language struck from the bill after the fact.
I honestly don’t think McCain cares. He just wants the press kudos for being an environmental superhero, regardless of how destructive the bill is. Still, he is the Republican Party leader, so it’s time to take the fuzzy animal theory of getting things done in Washington and apply it to McCain. If he wants to be an environmental superhero, then by golly, who are we to stand in his way?
I…AM CAPTAIN CHIPMUNK!
Hello, kids! It’s time for the Captain Chipmunk Song!
Captain Chipmunk, he’s our hero!
Has no hair but he’s no zero!
Cap and trade for you and me!
We can’t afford our energy!
By combining the power of…
- A news crew
- A Democrat playing him for a sucker
- The cap and trade bill
- The global warming scam
- And a lapdog sidekick from South Carolina
…Captain Chipmunk appears and comes to the rescue of environmental types everywhere! With his trusty sidekick, The Pomeranian Lindsey Graham, there will be no stopping him from shafting conservatives, his party, and his country with the cap and trade bill!
Seriously, folks, who wants energy and prosperity anyway?
No one can resist the duo of Captain Chipmunk and The Pomeranian! They’re cute! They’re fuzzy! They’re pointles…I mean they have a point (or something) <ahem>. And better still, you can do your part to help Captain Chipmunk give the environment 110%.
Here’s how. Some nice fellow in Arizona named Chris Simcox has generously volunteered to free up much of Captain Chipmunk’s superhero time by taking over all those onerous Senate duties for him. You can help him accomplish this by visiting his web site today!
Do your part for environmental scams everywhere! Support Captain Chipmunk!
Henceforth, during all discussions of environmental issues, John McCain will be referred to by his superhero honorific, Captain Chipmunk/John McCain. Let’s all help him be the best environmental superhero he can be!
Addendum, 2/28/2010: In case this parody sounds familiar but you can’t quite place its origins, read up on the character it spoofs: Captain Planet.
And furthermore, Simcox dropped out of the race and endorsed J.D. Hayworth. If you want to help free up McCain’s busy eco-hero schedule, you can visit him instead.
Filed under: Maverick News on October 8th, 2009
most western countries.
-- George Burns
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