My Vote for The Ted Kennedy Memorial Bill

It’s already started.  Ted Kennedy wasn’t dead for a day when we were getting suggestions for memorial Disastercare and amnesty.  Well, seeing as how I’m seriously warped, I want to join in on the fun.

I’d love to help memorialize Ted Kennedy.  We could make history, and we could do it together.  Here’s my vision:

1. We go through Ted Kennedy’s legislative accomplishments and find out which of them are disasters.  I suspect it’s a long list.
2. Then, we put the repeal for them in one large bill, the Ted Kennedy Apology Bill.
3. We pass the bill through Congress where everyone gets to stand up and say how great Ted Kennedy was, right before Obama signs it in a rose garden ceremony for the ages.
4. Everyone wins.  Ted Kennedy gets his name on a bill which changes the country for the better.  The Democrats get to say how great he was, and the Republicans get to capitulate without screwing up for once.

What, you think my suggestion is tasteless?  Well, that’s the best part!  Mine is a suggestion fit for a Wellstone memorial, which the Democrats love so dearly.  So let’s get to it, America!  Call your representative and ask for the Ted Kennedy Apology Bill today!

Never let a good crisis go to waste.

Filed under: Satire, Humor, and Dementia on August 27th, 2009