The Chris Simcox Drinking Game
Well, apparently McCain hasn’t had his Official Maverick Lapdog Lindsey Graham (Pomeranian – SC) fixed yet, because he’s at it again. Amnesty is rearing it’s ugly head in the Senate, and one of the people behind it is Graham. Since Graham beat both his primary opponent and the other Democrat running in the South Carolina race in 2008, we can’t touch him again electorally until 2014.
Please pay attention next time, South Carolina. Seriously.
In the meantime, what to do? Graham is thinking he can act with impunity, and do the things McCain would love to be doing right now. I’m pretty sure he’s also acting with McCain’s blessing, because I see no reason to believe Graham has any initiative or thought processes without him. But I digress.
How to get at him then? I call it the Chris Simcox drinking game.
Intrigued? I knew you would be. So how does this work?
- First off, a reminder. Chris Simcox is McCain’s primary opponent in 2010. I’d deny he exists, but today, I’m going to point you at his web site because I’m playing my own game. Read on.
- Whenever the Official Maverick Lapdog Lindsey Graham (Pomeranian – SC) demonstrates the need for obedience training like he just did with amnesty, do something to help Chris Simcox. Volunteer for the man. Donate money. Post a link in a post like I did and give the guy some publicity. Just keep it legal.
- Once you do, email Lindsey Graham’s office (or use snail mail, your preference) and thank him for the inspiration to get rid of his owner, John McCain. Don’t forget to tell him what you did.
- My hope is that I can get enough people doing this to drive McCain and Graham to drink themselves stupid. Preferably long enough to cost McCain his job.
Think of this as your latest lesson on how to be a good maverick supporter. I’ve even thought up a nice caption for one of those demotivational posters you find on the Internet once I get a good picture of McCain realizing he’s lost his job:
Being a Maverick
It’s all fun and games until someone
loses their Senate seat.
Addendum, 8/18/2009: One other small thing. I didn’t mention this drinking game is also RETROACTIVE! That’s right. You don’t have to wait for an excuse to do this now. You can go back and find something either McCain or Graham has ever done to annoy you, and play the Chris Simcox Drinking Game because of it.
You don’t even have to remember it properly. Just make up something if it’s hazy. They’ve both had enough fun at your expense. Now it’s your turn.
Addendum, 8/26/2009: This post has been edited to remove any mention of Ted Kennedy. I still have some sense of taste, even if I don’t retain much of my sanity.
Addendum, 3/6/2010: Chris Simcox has dropped out of the primary. Fortunately, you can still play this game with J.D. Hayworth. Oh, and I’m worried about the overuse of my addendums on this post.
Filed under: Satire, Humor, and Dementia on August 10th, 2009
is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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