Breaking News: Obama Pushes for Change to National Anthem

By Ryan • on April 1, 2009

This just in:

Today, President Obama announced that he plans to introduce a bill to Congress that would change the national anthem of the United States.

‘In these times, it is important for the United States to not only project strength, but compassion.  Not only hostility, but gentility.  We must demonstrate that we can, and will, indeed live as a good world citizen. As such, I intend to change our national anthem to reflect our greatest virtues without sacrificing our national dignity.’

A Democratic aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, disagreed.  ‘While I support Obama and his policies, I find that changing our national anthem at this juncture could jeapordize the implementation of his agenda and all the good it could do for this nation.’

Others seemed accepting of the idea.  ‘This is a bold step in the right direction,’ Thomas Staunton, a congressional Democratic aide said.  ‘The new national anthem is an excellent choice, easy to sing, and very reflective of the kind of American image Obama wishes to display to the world.’

However, Republicans were not so enamoured of the new national anthem, and complained that despite its upbeat and congenial nature, the new song would make the United States a laughingstock.

To build support for his new national anthem, Obama released it on YouTube:

P.S.:  While I’m sure the vast majority have realized it by now, there’s always one or two people who don’t get it.  So, for their benefit, I’ll take this opportunity to mention that this news story is 100% FAKE.  It’s an April Fool’s prank, so don’t panic.

I’m mentioning it here for a moment of levity, because there’s going to be a lot of heavy duty nastiness here soon, like the impending cap and trade disaster.  Take a moment to enjoy the laugh, and feel free to return.

Update, 10/8/2009:  The video was removed from YouTube, which was sad because it was brilliant.  I’ll find a new joke here shortly.

Update, 10/9/2009: New punchline vid added. If you like it, it’s from a Veggie Tales video.

Filed under: Satire, Humor, and Dementia on April 1st, 2009

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near
the place.
                -- Steven Wright

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By Magdalene Jaeckel on July 5th, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Every year around the fourth of July we sing a couple of patriotic songs in our Lutheran church. One of them is “America the beautiful”, which has some great verses, like the one ending in: America, America, God mend thy every flaw, confirm thy soul in self control, they liberty in law. every time I think: why can’t we get rid of the belligerent national anthem we have? It is not timely anymore to think of battles and wars. We have had enough of that! I wonder whether anybody thinks like I do?

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