Apparently, McCain did really well at the Saddleback debate, because the Internet is buzzing about it. Obama’s supporters are screaming that McCain cheated, and McCain impressed even those ordinary conservatives that should have already been groveling at his feet in awe. Presuming Obama makes it through his own convention with his party’s nomination, he could very well get the Master Maverick elected.
Of course, being McCain’s Bestest #1 Maverick Supporter in the Whole Wide World, I couldn’t let this pass without sticking my finger in his eye. So I give you my maverick random thought and hypothetical situation of the day.
Senator McCain, what’s going to happen once you’re elected President?
- The mainstream media you worked so long and hard to get on your side will hate you more than they do Bush. You will have defeated their chosen messiah, which was frankly an obvious outcome to anyone who bothered to be a student of your maverick greatness, and you will never know pity from them again. That means their approval goes away, with no chance of you earning it back.
- You will have served the only purpose you had to the other side of the political spectrum, which is to be a placeholder. You’ll be the warm body occupying the White House so that Obama cannot, and it’s the reason the vast majority of ordinary conservatives will have bothered to vote for you in the first place. Once that happens, they can then commence to make your Presidency hell on Earth, because you had the gall to force such an impossible electoral decision on them.
- While you may not need ordinary conservatives for anything more than your amusement, a lot of the people in Congress who’s support you’ll require to get anything done will. You know, those House and Senate members who aren’t Lindsey Graham. After eight years, it’s all but certain Bush has burned through all the RINO forgiveness, and didn’t save any for you. That means the Congressional Republicans aren’t likely to cooperate with their party leader, for fear of losing their jobs due to lack of conservative tolerance.
- And as for those moderates and independents to whom you’ve appealed for so long? They’ll go back to being as mushy as always, so you won’t get much help from them either. All the eye-poking, undermining, and backstabbing that brought you this far in your Machiavellian brilliance won’t serve you with them any longer, because they don’t do all that much politically in the times between election seasons.
Still, congradulations on your performance in Saddleback, Senator! At this rate, Obama will have defeated himself utterly by November due to your incomprehensibly brilliant planning and aptitude.
Do you other maverick supporters have your own pet theories? I’d love to hear them, so feel free to comment.