Monthly Archives: August 2008

McCain Chooses Sarah Palin for VP

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Sarah Palin gets the maverick VP slotOh, it’s a beautiful day.  Can you imagine such principle from a single man?

McCain announced Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin, as his choice for a Vice Presidential running mate.  Not only is Palin a popular conservative governor, but she is absolutely nothing like Obama’s fellow Democrat McCain.  She even answered some questions for Newsmax that don’t fit with his world view.

But this is merely a statement of the strength of McCain’s maverick principles.

Why do I say that?  Well, in choosing Palin:

  1. He has virtually admitted that he needs the support of the conservatives he so despises.
  2. He’s realized that he won’t be able to get them with all the vicious, marginalizing, bullying, fear-spinning browbeating by his rabid supporters (you can see comments by them in many McCain stories on Michelle Malkin’s blog).
  3. Has at least suggested that McCain recognizes two good answers to the smarmy liberal and RINO question “Where are the conservatives going to go?” are Bob Barr and Chuck Baldwin.  They still don’t exist, by the way.
  4. He threw the Maverick Mini-Me, Senator Graham, under the bus.  On a side note, what was that loser Graham expecting?  I mean seriously.  A popular politician from South Carolina, a state McCain needed to win to gain the nomination, conveniently entered the Senate as a freshman in 2002, and McCain just happened to take him under his wing.  Why can’t that dolt Graham do the math?  Did he really think he was McCain’s friend?

And where is this principled?  Well, McCain desired maverick conservatives, and he succeeded in creating them.  Now there are tons of maverick conservatives that aren’t voting for the “R” in this election just because he has the “R”, and they forced McCain to make this choice.  In fact, it’s not too much of a stretch to say that McCain was mavericked so hard in this instance, he may need a proctologist.

McCain not only CAPITULATED UTTERLY in his VP pick to the maverick conservatives he worked so long and hard to create, but then he went to Ohio and held a press conference about it.  That’s a reward to the conservatives who chose to follow in his footsteps, and an absolute dedication to the maverick principles I’ve come to know and love from him.

Do you understand now, ordinary conservatives?  McCain only responds positively to maverick supporters.  Become one, and he’ll dance like a maverick monkey to you, the maverick organ grinder.  It’s not too late.  November isn’t here yet. You could still join me in the maverick paradigm, and see how many times we can torque the Master Maverick if he’s elected.

We can also see how long it takes Palin to play the “liberalism is conservatism” card and sacrifice her credibility on the maverick altar.  Then, we can have some fun with her too.

McCain Forcing Party to Concede Planks on Platform

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In a possible taste of things to come once he’s elected, the very presence of McCain in this race is forcing his party to concede to RINO planks on it’s platform, both on the global warming scam and illegal immigration.

Now, imagine he’s elected, and he can force his party to fall into line at will.  Can you imagine it?  It will be an endless supply of those beautiful, unimpeded Rockefeller Republican politics that have been so indistiguishable from Democrat politics for the past eight years.  Since McCain is so obsessed with getting his well-deserved adulation fix from the mainstream media, there will be no end to it, and no distiguishing him from his fellow Democrats anymore!

The Master Maverick will finally be who he truly is:  the selfish, arrogant, conservative-hating, mainstream media adulation junkie and Democrat we’ve all come to love and respect.  It will be magnificent.

Obama Picks Biden as VP

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For those of you who haven’t heard yet, Obama has picked Senator Foot-in-Mouth himself, Joe Biden, for his VP running mate.  I don’t know how McCain managed to pull that off, but I’m sure his incomprehensible brilliance is in there somewhere, working behind the scenes.  At this rate, McCain could vacation until November, and still win solely through the efforts of the One-Man Gaffe Machine and his running mate, Senator “I was shot at too“.

This will also help to dent the negative impact McCain’s latest ad targeting Clinton PUMAs (Party Unity My A##) that’s more than certain to poke fingers in the eyes of ordinary conservative supporters yet again:

 

That’s right, Obama. You know McCain’s the better Democrat! No one moves the Democrat agenda forward like McCain.  No one in your party hates conservatives as much as McCain.  No one!   Do you hear me?

Some Random Maverick Thoughts About McCain’s Election

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Apparently, McCain did really well at the Saddleback debate, because the Internet is buzzing about it.  Obama’s supporters are screaming that McCain cheated, and McCain impressed even those ordinary conservatives that should have already been groveling at his feet in awe.  Presuming Obama makes it through his own convention with his party’s nomination, he could very well get the Master Maverick elected.

Of course, being McCain’s Bestest #1 Maverick Supporter in the Whole Wide World, I couldn’t let this pass without sticking my finger in his eye.  So I give you my maverick random thought and hypothetical situation of the day.

Senator McCain, what’s going to happen once you’re elected President?

  1. The mainstream media you worked so long and hard to get on your side will hate you more than they do Bush.  You will have defeated their chosen messiah, which was frankly an obvious outcome to anyone who bothered to be a student of your maverick greatness, and you will never know pity from them again.  That means their approval goes away, with no chance of you earning it back.
  2. You will have served the only purpose you had to the other side of the political spectrum, which is to be a placeholder.  You’ll be the warm body occupying the White House so that Obama cannot, and it’s the reason the vast majority of ordinary conservatives will have bothered to vote for you in the first place.  Once that happens, they can then commence to make your Presidency hell on Earth, because you had the gall to force such an impossible electoral decision on them.
  3. While you may not need ordinary conservatives for anything more than your amusement, a lot of the people in Congress who’s support you’ll require to get anything done will.  You know, those House and Senate members who aren’t Lindsey Graham.  After eight years, it’s all but certain Bush has burned through all the RINO forgiveness, and didn’t save any for you.  That means the Congressional Republicans aren’t likely to cooperate with their party leader, for fear of losing their jobs due to lack of conservative tolerance.
  4. And as for those moderates and independents to whom you’ve appealed for so long?  They’ll go back to being as mushy as always, so you won’t get much help from them either.  All the eye-poking, undermining, and backstabbing that brought you this far in your Machiavellian brilliance won’t serve you with them any longer, because they don’t do all that much politically in the times between election seasons.

Still, congradulations on your performance in Saddleback, Senator!  At this rate, Obama will have defeated himself utterly by November due to your incomprehensibly brilliant planning and aptitude.

Do you other maverick supporters have your own pet theories?  I’d love to hear them, so feel free to comment.