Monthly Archives: June 2008

Remember Everybody, McCain is an Independent

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Ok, this is a shout out to all of you maverick supporters of the Master Maverick to keep on message, and remember that if anyone asks, John McCain is an independent.

Therefore, to assist in this issue, I’m going to list a few things you should avoid, so you can help the Master Maverick maintain this particular fiction.

  1. Don’t remind anyone that McCain is technically a Republican.  This might lead those who are currently deluded about his independence to wonder things such as ‘If McCain constantly feels the need to take bold stances so he can obstruct evil Republicans, why is he still a Republican?‘

    If they ask this question, they might also ask things like ‘Is it because he wanted to keep his seniority and committee assignments?‘ and ‘If it is, how is he a bold and principled independent?‘

  2. Don’t remind anyone that McCain considered joining the Democrats in 2001, was considered as a running mate for John Kerry in 2004, and appears to prefer the Democrat’s company and their philosophy.  If they remember this, people might wonder why John McCain simply didn’t join them.  It could lead them to wonder if his refusal to do so has to do with the puff press he obsessively craves and rightfully deserves.

    It would be unthinkable if his ordinary supporters started asking questions along the lines of ‘If McCain changed parties, he might have been just an ordinary junior Democrat instead of a newsworthy Republican maverick, and it would have cost him puff press.‘  Or, ‘Does Mr. Bold and Principled Independent know if he behaved the same way in the Democratic Party as he does in the Republican Party, they would have slapped him into submission long ago?‘

  3. Most certainly don’t remind anyone of the McCain’s long-term friendship with the mainstream press.  Otherwise, someone might determine that because of McCain’s overriding interest in gaining the mainstream media’s graces, he would bear no practical difference from his Democrat opponent once he’s elected, and certainly wouldn’t be an independent.

It’s election season, fellow maverick supporters, so keep these tips in mind.  In fact, you should link to them, so everyone else supporting McCain can get this lie right too.

Help Me Pick the New Blog Motto

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I’ve heard so much brilliance from the Master Maverick lately, I genuinely can’t decide on a new motto.  The old one just seems so inadequate now.  So, here are the choices.  Feel free to weigh in and let me know what you think.

  1. “Dehydrated Babies – Just Add Hot Water!”
  2. “Damn Elliot Ness, I’ll Veto the Beer!”
  3. Screw these choices.  I’m a real maverick supporter, and I’m putting my own in the comment section.  Read it there, you big boob.
  4. Screw these choices.  I’m putting a YouTube link about McCain in the comment section, or else his maverick brilliance will get lost in translation.

Yes, your motto could become a historic part of the maverick paradigm.  So contribute today!

McCain Campaigns in Another Country

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Yes, it’s moments like this that I have to take a second and marvel.  Not only will John McCain not do anything else like an ordinary normal person, but now, he’s continuing his maverick campaign for President in Canada.

Yep, the Master Maverick is pitching free trade in Canada.  Obviously, this is some incomprehensibly brilliant plan to gain millions of new Canadian voters.  It’s so incomprehensibly brilliant, I don’t even know how he can do it.  Perhaps by trying to grant amnesty to Canada too.

 

Maverick Housepet Lindsey Graham Gets a Primary Challenge

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The Official Maverick Housepet, Senator Lindsey Graham – (RINO – SC), is fending off a primary challenge by Buddy Witherspoon.

Ok, how is the Master Maverick supposed to live without his personal Mini-Me, Senator Lindsey Graham?  How dare this Witherspoon guy actually think representing his state is worth more?  Doesn’t he know Graham is the unquestioning acolyte of the Master Maverick, especially on the issue of illegal immigration and amnesty?

I’m calling on all maverick supporters to put down this ridiculous ordinary challenge to the Master Maverick’s Official Housepet.  Flood this heretic Witherspoon with ordinary donations, and make him choke on his overflowing coffers until he gives up.  He is far too lowly for maverick donations.  Therefore, INFLICT UPON HIM THE ORDINARY, VANILLA DONATIONS.  Let him know the dreaded vanilla until it hurts.