Monthly Archives: April 2008

Humble Maverick Student Recommends Ordinary VP for McCain

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Your humble and slightly overwhelmed maverick studentHello, Master Maverick, John McCain.

I know you’re too busy to read my humble yank site, because you’re running your incomprehensibly brilliant plan to become America’s next president.  However, if you would take a moment, I highly recommend a break in your mavericky strategy, and that you choose an ordinary, vanilla VP.

Why not a maverick VP, some might ask?  How could you, the Bestest #1 Maverick Supporter in the Whole Wide World of the Master Maverick, John McCain even suggest that he choose anything but a maverick VP?  Have I learned nothing from his tireless maverick example?

Yes, I have.  I have learned that he enjoys making legions of his ordinary, vanilla supporters grab their ankles so he can maverick them as hard and as often as he pleases.  Truly, they deserve it, for they are only ordinary, vanilla supporters who are not fit to say to him, “I hope you buy your next housepet naked.”  But to get them, my hero and idol, you must first deceive them into voting for you by choosing an ordinary, vanilla VP.

If not, you’ll get a maverick VP.   Then, when you try to convince someone that what you want to do is the right thing to do, the response will not be:

  • “Why yes, creating a new entitlement program really is conservatism.  Don’t you know which way is up?”

And instead will be:

  • “Why yes, we are deceiving you, because it’s all about me, me, me!.”

For your maverick VP will share just as much contempt of your ordinary, vanilla supporters across the political spectrum as you do, and not hesitate to mention it to them.  I wish I could help as your humble and slightly overwhelmed maverick student, but I won’t be able to add so many to your legions of maverick supporters by the time you choose your VP.

Therefore, go straight for deceit, and don’t mention that the only purpose of the ordinary, vanilla VP will serve in your mavericky administration is to get your coffee and smooch your rosy, flawless butt cheeks.

I know I am a mere speck compared to your mavericky greatness now, but I hope you think of me fondly in due time.

McCain’s Ordinary Vanilla Supporters Clueless on Immigration

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Yes, the Master Maverick has done it again.

It’s a brilliant strategy.  Find clueless ordinary, vanilla supporters who don’t know his position on immigration, then get them to vote for him:

Poll:  Voters Unaware of Candidate’s Immigration Positions:  McCain Supporters Farthest Off the Mark

Then, once that great champion of open borders gets elected, he can reveal his true colors and shower his contempt upon his ordinary, vanilla supporters by Speaking The Profanity in Loud Tones in their general direction.  For are they not simply ordinary, vanilla supporters?  They are not true maverick supporters, and not worthy to tell the Master Maverick that he looks more dignified now that he’s wearing his shoelaces upside-down.

If I ever become half as brilliant as the Master Maverick, John McCain, my head would probably explode for the inability to contain his mavericky mental capacities.  He is truly wondrous.

Ordinary Vanilla Link Love for All

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I, the humble and slightly overwhelmed student and Bestest #1 Maverick Supporter in the Whole Wide World of the Master Maverick, John McCain seek to meet the lofty ideals of his tireless maverick example in any way I can.  So, in the true spirit of the Master Maverick, I’ll be linking to maverick news in The Daily Kos and Master Maverick’s favorite newspaper, The New York Times.  I can’t only link to Ann Coulter or Newsmax, or I would not be a true maverick student in the tradition of The Way of The Maverick.

Is it entirely accurate?  I make no claims, being merely a maverick supporter as opposed to a maverick journalist, but if it’s good enough for The New York Times, I know the Master Maverick would want it right here on this yank site.

Why am I only giving everyone ordinary vanilla link love?  Because they, as mere aspiring maverick supporters, and even I, his Bestest #1 Maverick Supporter in the Whole Wide World, are not worthy of maverick link love.  We must make do with ordinary, vanilla link love.  We have not yet aspired to true maverick greatness, a task which may take lifetimes for those not genuinely gifted enough to be the Master Maverick, John McCain.

Therefore, know merely a taste of maverick link love, in the true Way of the Master Maverick, John McCain, and despair that you will never receive it:

  • “ME?  LINK BACK TO YOU?  HUH?  HUH?  NO!  IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!  ME!  ME!  ME!”

Grovel in the dirt before the Master Maverick, and beg him to Speak The Profanity in Loud Tones in your general direction.